Healing from Narcissistic Relationship
If you've discovered or have suspicions your partner is or might be a Narcissist and has unhealthy Narcissim it will blow your mind in the beginning.  So take a deep breath and another and another..  

Just don't forget to breath.

It is deeply understood we as targets will have a myriad of feelings, thoughts, sensings once we recognise we are or have been a naricistic supply.  Know all those thoughts of disappointment, fear, hate, anger or revenge are a total waste of your energy and on top of that if the Narc can see you then they will be gleaning a great deal of pleasure from your pain and misery.  Narcissist get off on others misery and pain they soak it up like we do when we are having a relaxing bubble bath. 


DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MORE SATISFACTION OR PLEASURE  AT YOUR EXPENSE.
Susan Stubbings Healing from Narcissistic Relationshhip
S/he wants what you have ... simples.  S/he can't have it in any real form so they steal it from you and experience it vicariously, they suck your self-worth, self-esteem , confidence, self-efficacy and bring you down to their level because they can't come up to yours; no matter how they might try it is an impossible task for them to do.   What they do is called levelling the playing field and it is playing to them, make no mistake about it.  Rather like a cat who plays with a mouse until the mouse is dead or at least stops moving then the cat loses interest in its pray since it is no longer any fun so the cat moves on to find its next target.  Every now and again I'd observe my cat returning to where she left the dead mouse just in case it was going to play.  Even when I'd removed it and the dead body was no longer there she will still go to that spot for a while.  Searching, smelling, sensing what fun she once had; and she'd want it again and again. She couldn't have it with that one so she'd move onto another, the cycle starts all over again. Play with that one in exactly the say way and sometimes if I caught her she'd look at me 'as if' to say its not playing now.   We look at her and scold her and then straight away stroke her, tickle her tummy, tell her what a bad cat and a clever cat she is almost in the same breath.
This is exactly what the Narcissist does, plays with you until you are as dead inside as they are or the Narc will lose interest in you and want 'new' once they have sucked you dry and are no longer of interest to him or her and discards you like you are nothing.  This 'nothing' however is how they feel about themselves, its either them or you and so survival dictates it has to be them at the cost of you.  The Narcissist is incapable of 'allowing' you to be happy, congruent, autonomous or yourself, for long and only in the game of idolise and bonding stages and doses you thereafter.  We are like the cat's human condemning and praising in the same breath. what we experience after the idolise stage is totally the opposite to our 'felt sense' our 'assumptions' and our first impressions of what we 'know' of how the Narc is, or our overall expectations of what another human being is like, this is due to the dynamic of cognitive dissonance, this can be heard when we hear ourselves say "I'm in two minds" "I can't make my mind up" or we feel icky about some of the Narc's behaviour or we dismiss it as a one off or he's having a bad day.
Some people may have a long term sense  of wanting to end there life  and some may have completed suicide if they have been around Narcissists all their life so we do need to take the effects of Narcissistic behaviour very seriously. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or thoughts of suicide I urge you to take immediate action and BREATH, TELL, CONTACT, share, seek help from a medical person such as your GP or go to your nearest A & E department and gain the support you need in the here and now.
Susan Stubbings POP
POP Counselling Support
Below are several ways which helped me heal, my hope is that what I suggest may also support your healing; by practicing some of these methods and creating your own you will find happiness, fulfilment and peace in your life.

Please note:  truly healing,  healing the wounds from relationship/s with Narcissist will need to be undertaken with a knowledgable and experienced counselling therapist because the Narc will have taken from you what can only be healed through a non-judgmental, nurturing and affirming relationship; a relationship which is the exact opposite of the Narcissist.

You don't need to be alone on your healing  journey if you feel you would like or need support contact me an experienced counsellor   to walk some of the way with you.    

Make it easy for your Self!


Self-care Susan Stubbings

The eminent psychologist Carl Jung said 

 "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people"

SWOT Analysis - Susan Stubbings
Your vision will become
clear only when
you can look into
your own heart. Who
looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside,
awakes.

Carl Jung

Take responsibility  feelings and thoughts belong to the feeler and the thinker so take responsibility for your feelings, thoughts  and healing and decision making will come, by taking conscious responsibility you will also be taking back your authentic power and control of your living.  Dont whatever you do let yourself just float along this will also come when you have walked further forward on the road of healing.  For now, you need to take responsibility for your healing.  Try creating small goals for yourself to achieve daily this will help boost your self-esteem try using the acronym SMART which means Specific Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely.  Start with one small goal make it a clear goal one you can track its progress and one which is achievable and relevant to your healing and make it happen in a specific time.  For example, today I will do? and then forget to do it.  Plan and prepare to minimise any negativity from the decisions you will need to make from this day forward, dont do anything rash, on a whim or spontanously, think everything through and no spontaneity since this may do more harm than good!  
Go no contact  cut all ties with the narcissist this may be extremely difficult if you are married to them, live with them and have children together or they are a significant family member such as mum, dad or a sibling.  Love is difficult to give up!  (see  trauma  bonding to aid understanding) .  Going no contact will bring a whole new set of fears, uncertainties and worries of its own. But if your sanity and life is at risk if your narc is violent then your domestic life will be very miserable; going no contact is perhaps the only way to really reclaim yourself.  But take your time about this, think about leaving for some time, create a safely plan for yourself and your children if you have them to consider but above all remain safe.  Find out what you can and cant do in reality and enlist help from friends, family or the authorities if you are in immediate danger and seek support from a trained professional such as a counsellor or psychotherapist. 
Grey rock If leaving or you have left and you have children with the Narc then grey rock is the next best thing to going no contact.  Grey rock means having the absolute minimum contact as you can with the Narc.  Time and space is needed for you to be able to take back your authentic power and control to regain your sanity and build your self-worth and self-esteem back up.  This is made extremely difficult if you are in constant contact with the Narc.  Grey rock is becoming as stubborn as a great big rock which will not budge, grey rock is becoming the dead mouse, not literally of course but to the Narc you stop playing in their field in any shape or form, whatever has gone before draw a line under it wish them well and start walking the path of your healing.   By playing dead to the Narc you stop feeding their ego and if you are not feeding their ego they will soon lose interest and move on to their next target.  Because they will soon become hungry and if they are not fed they will quickly become starving.
The goal of playing dead to the Narc is to be as boring as you can be, retrain yourself to not react to anything they do or say.  Do not responded to any drama they will create and do not offer them any attention whatsoever they will soon lose interest in you even if you have been in a relationship with them for 10/20/30/40/50 years they are that fickle and won't even look back at you or think about the pain and hurt they have caused you; once their interest is on someone else. Grey rock means having the bare minimum contact only as necessary and limited conversations with them if they pick the children up just talk about the children nothing else keep it short, factual and to the point.  Do not talk about anything interesting about the children such as their achievements at school let the children tell their parent themselves, don't discuss new boy/girlfriend, new hobbies or anything which has brought you pleasure or pain.  Make the conversations as boring as you can and don't react when they try to push your buttons because they will remember they know you inside out or they like to think they do.  Make it hard for them to know you as you are here and now on your healing path, and as such not be able to manipulate you any more, don't share anything with them.

Make an appointment with your Doctor and talk it through with them.  Enlist as many people as you can before you even get to the leaving stage.  Your safety and the safety of your children are paramount and it is not a wise move to act impulsively without a plan of action. This would be rather like jumping out of the frying pain into the chip pan!   Going no contact is and will be very emotionally charged for you even when the narc makes you suffer you are more than likely trauma bonded to them and this is the why you need professional help to clarify and gain personal support for yourself.  During the relationship with the Narc your self-worth and self-esteem will more than likely be at rock bottom, just like a grey rock stood stagnate and you may have learned to be ' helpless' . I t is essential you find a therapist who understands Narcissist abuse.  So you can be validated, affirmed, supported and able to see your value and worth as a person in your own right .  You will need to go through an adjustment phase and grieve the relationship loss, the loss of your expected future and the loss of yourself.  Contact and access support from a professionally trained and experienced counsellor or psychotherapist and one who is experienced in recovery from Narcissistic abuse.
BOX - All those things the Narc gave you.  Replace the jewelry you wear ever day or the favorite earrings you associate the Narc with.  Put in the box anything which reminds you of the Narc don't leave them laying around your home space so your eyes can see them.   The ornaments, the books, the photo albums, all the little trinkets, the pens, the note books, the poetry, the written stories anything and everything put in a box or several boxes.  DO not throw them away! You may regret it later if you do.  Your aim is to remove the Narc from your living space so you don't have constant triggers which pull your positude and affirmation away.  Yes, even that teddy bear he gave you or the cute cuddly toy you have sat on the side of your bed, put that cushion away he gave you to cuddle since when you are cuddling it you are thinking of him/her.  It won't offer you any comfort, all it does is put your mind into thinking about him.  Put them all away into boxes and put them out of your house into your shed or garage and leave them there.  One day when you have healed you can take a look at the stuff and remember how  and what the Narc did to cause you all this grief, pain and emotional upset, you will not  want to go there ever again.  BOX it all away! If you need something to comfort you replace them with things which speak to who you are here and now, things which enhance your healing and your journey forward.  New music, new books, new jewelery, a new teddy bear give it a name of something you are wanting to achieve such as happy, smiley or peace something you want to gain for yourself  this will ease your transition from the Narc onto you.

Gather - all the information you can on Narcissism and understand the disorder inside out.  Begin to understand that it really is not your fault and it really is not the Narc fault they did not  choose to be that way either.  Blame never got anyone anywhere and your goal now is to get your well-being back.  Gathering every bit of information, you can helps support your understanding and can help sooth your thoughts and enable you to parallel any negative thoughts you have about your self-worth with the truth!

Affirmation Create several
affirmations which speak loudly to you, affirmations are free and the easiest tool to use to parallel and overpower your negative thoughts.  I love to collage so make a notice board which you can move around your home full of your affirmations and/or quotes which speak to you loudly so you can recite them over and over to replace your negative words, thoughts and build up your authentic power.  You can add picture too so they trigger positive thoughts and feelings I like pictures of the sea when its calm and blue skies so I can drift off to a peaceful safe place in my mind instead of letting the incessant negativity build up.  Eventually your mind will be full of the positive and you will not need visual cues in order to hear the affirmations in your mind they will become your automatic thoughts with practice!  The day I heard "your a strong independant woman" instead of "I wonder if he'll phone me today" or having a full blown conversation in my head as I awoke was the day I knew my real healing had begun.  But it takes practice so don't give up when it seems they are not working they are, working away in the background like radio waves chipping away at your subconcious strenthening your minds muscles way before you get to the point of hearing them clearly in your concious mind!  SO keep practicing them and let them do their work for you.  

Be gentle with yourself -   It is difficult and fear provoking to attempt to undergo No-contact or Grey Rock but sadly these are the only ways you are going to reclaim your sanity become balanced and move forward in your life towards peace.  It doesn't mean you don't care about the person who is the catalyst for your pain but unless you break free, get some space between the two of you and don't fill the space, allow it to be the waste disposal for the Narcs transferences, projections, hoovers and vibrations.  Let the space be the waste disposal for your intense emotions, your parallels, your emotional venting.  This way you neither hold the intense emotions which hurt you and you stop absorbing the Narcs intensity.  You 'allow' your higher power or the Universe to deal with it all, otherwise you will not be able to care in any real way for anyone including yourself.

Personally I have sent all my perpetrators vibrations and intense emotions off to the Outta Hebrides for the Universe to deal with.  In this way I don't spend my precious time or energy thinking and procrastinating on what to do with them, it’s not my job to be judge and jury to the Narcs behaviour.  My only concern is to protect myself regain balance, well-being and maintain and enhance my own mental wealth, not in a narcissistic way be in an authentic humanistic way to become the person I want to be.   Hold and offer compassion to others including those who have hurt me along the way.

For me it is about acceptance not forgiveness I don't need to forgive the perpetrators only accept they did what they did and that wasn't my choice.  However, as an adult I can choose here and now not to play their games or be a part in their behaviour which hurt me, accept good people do bad things, bad people do bad things and evil people do evil things to good people.  At the end of this day and any day we are all Human Beings doing the best we can as individuals to survive, whether surviving means doing bad or evil thing, we all need to protect ourselves and our children. 

Once you have regained your balance you can then offer care for the Narc.   Go back to basics and take care of yourself, it might seem obvious but get enough sleep, eat if you can't eat meals eat little and often.  Seek support from a counsellor or psychotherapist before you make any decision to leave or grey rock to begin healing and building your self-esteem and self-worth this will help you to clarify and make sense of what is happening to you and help you if your decision is to go no contact or grey rock. 

Swear Mornings always seemed worse for me and this is the time when anxiety is most profound so I would get up and allow myself the time I get showered, dried, dressed and ready for my day; as I move about I will use all those
naughty words that I don't normally use and say them loudly, deeply or even deeply and whispered with venom behind each word as I say them.   I call the Narcs all the names under the sun which I can think of and then I have a laugh with myself at what I am doing.  By the time I got ready for my day the negative energy is spent and I can then begin using my affirmations to support a day which is going to be positive.  Of course I live on my own so this is possible if you dont live on your own you may look a little crazy or fearful to your children as you launch into a whole lot of profanities if so I suggest you sit on your bed and gently hold a pillow and swear or scream into that so you can't be heard by your children or others who may be around.   Don't forget to breath and don't forget to smile your doing a good thing here!


Sing it out - Singing is free, it stirs, uplifts and rouses your Soul so go on sing it loud, sing it proud, just sing it all out!  some that worked for me are Alrite Alrite everthing is gonna be alrite (East 17) (I'm a Yorkshire lass :)) I will survive (Goria Gaynor)  The only way is up (Yazz) You'll never walk alone (Gerry and The Pacemakers)  Its coming home (footballs coming home) ( Lightening Seeds + Baddiel & Skinner)  Jerusalem (Hymn). And my go to song " when the Going Gets Tough, The tough get going " (Billy Ocean)  You don't need to sing all the words just the chorus or the parts  which speak to you, find your own songs which will parallel and get rid of the negative self speak which will come first thing in the morning and you can use them throughout the day toooooo.  Or turn the radio on and sing along to what is playing but choose an up beat station. Stay alert, stay with thoughts of your healing, stay exppressing.  Your goal is to activate the power of your positude so your day begins on a positive stream one which you can float along on!

Get moving -  If the above is not a way you find helpful, your goal first thing in a morning is to spend all your excess energy so try stepping up onto the bottom step of your stairs or if you live in a flat jog, jump, skip on the spot for ten or fifteen minutes or undertake an exercise routine if you are physically fit.  You are trying to use the excess energy you woke up with so it doesn’t cause damage or build up to a high level and cause panic or anxiety disorders throughout your day or be the cause of long term
anxiety issues.   Catch it, contain it, conquer it!

Accept The person you love is
damaged beyond repair and s/he will always be this way!  Accept they actually can not help the way they are and accept they did not  choose to be this way and if they had a choice they more than likely would not be this way.  I do believe they can become aware of their behaviour but it is likely to be extremely difficult for them to change it since they find difficulty in owning it and their well-established defence mechanisms would probably stop much progress from happening.  If you could take hold of the myriad of feelings it will give you a deeper insight into how the Narc feels most of the time and this is a very sad state of mind to live with, know that you are not a Narcissist and you can heal, sadly the Narc can not change and if it wasn't for the devastating pain, hurt and conflict they create and inflict on and for others then they could have the acceptance and love they so crave.  But they wont change, cant change so we have to change to save ourselves and our children if we have them, their safety and yours is paramount.

Accept You played a part in their
behaviour because you were not aware of what is/was going on.  Once you know they are Narcissistic you then have a choice to do something about it, but take your time to make the decision which will be the best path for you to follow.

Accept -  there are psychological
dynamics going on that you probably do not understand and have no knowledge about and may find them difficult to understand right now.  Accept the Narcissist is an emotional vampire and he rapes and murders your soul given chance! He usually gets that chance because we don't know his games plan.  The following quote springs to mind as I type by George Orwell, 1994 You will be hollow.  We shall squeeze you empty, and then we shall fill you with ourselves, this is exactly what a Narc does to his supplies.  So accept this is all about them in your relationship and now it is time to accept YOU CAN HEAL and set about finding the path of peace for your future, because you do have one it is on the horizon and it is there for your taking! 

Accept 
You are not crazy, mad or going out of your mind and not going to be this way forever unless you choose to be! Accept there is a reason for all the ways you and the Narc behave and the Narc in your life has sucked you dry.  The Narc simply loves himself and no body else and  in order to fill their extremely low self-esteem they launch their missiles at their targets which is you and the Narc has impaired your emotional coping strategies and the logical way you once thought.  You have and are reacting 'normally' to abnormal conditions set up by the Narcs parasitic and predatory behaviours which has had no empathy for you as a person.  They are not able to reciprocate love, affection or even kindness; (DSMV-IV).  Accept that the Narc marketed and presented themselves in such a way that you fell in love with them without question and they have special techniques called idolise, bond, levelling, devalue, replace and discard to seduce, trap and control you; manipulating you into what they want.  They have 'pretended to offer you the same as you offered them'  knowing they are incapable of offering such tenderness, love, affection empathy or compassion.  They are in effect empty, hollow nothingness, cold intererior inner world.  That's very very sad don't you think.  


What matters now is your voice and your healing from this devastating relationship. 

Get assertive
  learn how to be assertive join a course or a class to teach you the skills you need to be assertive or engage with a counsellor who can support you in developing assertiveness skills.  Get to know the diffrence between passive, aggressive and assertive behaviour which takes care of other and equally yourself.

Self-esteem start right here and now on building up your
self-esteem read, about self-esteem gain all the knowledge and information you can from books, the internet and find a role model someone in your life who you feel is strong emotionally observe what, how, when, they seem strong emotionally.  Observe what their skills are and how they use them in relation to others.  If you do not know anyone in your life who is strong emotionally or confident then choose someone famous and research the characters they play; what makes them famous.  Ask yourself if my life was made into a film who would I want to play me?  Choose that person to follow for a while, for me I found Julie Walters a very positive role model in the beginning. 


The smile that seethes
On the front of your mask
That softly whispers
Behind eyes made of glass

The calm within
The storms that rage
No one can suspect what lies
Beneath your tender gaze

You're really quite undignified 
A real live valantine, an
emotional vampire, a werewolf  in
 sheep' s attire ready to trap

All I did was love & adore you.
Whilst you  connived,
plotted, schemed, to rupture
 to harvest, to murder

My Soul

Your Aurora collisions
Creating a magnetic squall
Solar winds liberating
Your poisonous quintessences

The typhoon at the heart of you
 Projecting your ancient ruins 
 Unfathomable lust,
your hunger,  your thirst

The shock that numbed
As the dawning breaks
Revisiting the grave of
 My Childhood mistakes

Here they are all alive in you
Your slipping facade
 Illuminating the depths of  the
Dark lord of this  trance

The blazing light, awakening
Enlightening my Child within
My heart clearly knowing now,
the fog, the rain the fear, pitter pattering through the mist

In  recognition

Where I thought it was me
I now understand
I was led to believe
I was flawed by birth
The power of insight

The power of authenic
Self-love empowered
Me to find
They were all just
One of a kind

Great big fear inducing
Imposters, great pretenders
Wizards of Oz

And you, My Child
You were your own Sun
The Aurora Borealis
All along .....

Over the rainbow!


Susan Stubbings May 2016
The smile that seethes
On the front of your mask
That softly whispers
Behind eyes made of glass

The calm within
The storms that rage
No one can suspect what lies
Beneath your tender grin

You’re really quite undignified 
A real live
Emotional vampire
A werewolf in sheep’s clothing

Yet I felt so precise, I so loved,
So adored. Whilst all the while
You connived, plotted, schemed
Burning my Soul

Your Aurora collisions
Creating a magnetic squall
Solar winds liberating
Your poisonous gas

The cyclone, the centre of you
 Projecting your ancient ruins 
 unfathomable lust, your hunger,
 your thirst all seen

The shock that numbed
As the dawning breaks
Revisiting the grave of
 My Childhood misreading's 

Here they are all alive in you
Your slipping facade
 revealing the mystery
Of the dark lord

The shining light, awakening
My Child within and
The adult sees clearly here, now
The fear, the rain has gone

They were all just
Great big fear inducing
Imposters, originals
Wizards of Oz

And you … My Child
Were your own Sun
The Aurora Borealis
Mud Mud
Glorious mud
Nothing quiet
Like it for cooling
The blood
So follow me follow
Down to the hollow
And there we shall
Wallow in glorious mud!
Eckhart Tolle
(The Power of Now, etc.)
defines acceptance as a:
"this is it" response to anything occurring in any moment of life. There, strength, peace and serenity are available when one stops struggling to resist, or hang on tightly to what is so in any given moment. What do I have right now? Now what am I experiencing? The point is, can one be sad when one is sad, afraid when afraid, silly when silly, happy when happy, judgmental when judgmental, overthinking when overthinking, serene when serene, etc"
The first step toward change
is awareness.
The second step is acceptance.

Nathaniel Branden

 You will be hollow.  We shall squeeze you empty, and then we shall fill you with ourselves

George Orwell, 1994
"Dwell on the
beauty of life.
Watch the stars,
and see yourself running
with them"

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations    
We live our individual life through our own lens, we create meaning, belief's, so the way our life is lived runs smooth.  Sometimes it goes all awry and we find ourself at the bottom of a pit, or on a cake walk being shook back and forth. 

We live our individual life through our own lens ... but there is as many lens as there are people.

Think possiblities not probabilities!

Susan Stubbings 2016
Counselling tools Susan Stubbings
Learn everything you can about any and all your symptoms how you are coping after recognising you have a Narc in your life who is and has affected you greatly; become aware of everything you can about how you feel and think after going grey rock or no contact.  If you feel anxious learn all there is about anxiety how it process itself throughout your body, you may even be suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD  or complex post traumatic stress disorder CPTSD , learn all there is to know about it, seek advice from your GP about what you can do about it.   Learn all there is to learn about how your body is responding.  If you feel depressed, make an appointment with your GP and learn all there is to learn about depression .  If you are struggling seek and ask for help from the most appropriate person who can offer you support with what you are struggling with whilst you work through your healing.  You do not need to go it alone any longer there are many people who can support your healing path you just need to ask.  join on-line forums or support groups and contact a professional counsellor for support.

Grieving After the breakup of any relationship you will need to grieve the loss of what might have been!  You can expect to grieve for the Narcissist and all that love you felt you had for him or her, but sadly it was not real love please see my page on
traumatic bonding .  You can expect to experience all the stages of grief and experience the emotional upheaval which grief brings, abandonment, anger, despair, sadness, trauma etc etc.  Become aware of all your feelings and thoughts, not all at once and not alone, gain the support of an experienced grief counsellor and one who is also knowledgeable about healing from Narcissistic abuse.

Write it out We all have a book inside us get writing yours.  It will be a cathartic experience and will help you gain a new perspective on the reality of your relationship how you are coping where you need to travel next.  Writing is a very productive but powerful tool and it is always best to heal with a therapist who is knowledgeable about healing from abuse.   Write peoms which express your emotions get them up, out and known to yourself, this is all about you now.

Counselling You will need to be validated over and over and over again once you make the decision to heal and you are not able to validate yourself or make sense of the harm a relationship with a Narcissist has had upon you.   Unless your
self-esteem is in tack, if you have a busy life or are caring for children, then it is even more important that you enlist help and support from as many sources as you can.  You can expect your healing journey to take some time even years the Narc is totally messed up and so it follows that anyone who has encountered, lived with and loved a Narcissist for any length of time will also have many issues.  It is always productive and kind to yourself to enlist the support of a professional counsellor who is knowledgeable about the issues of healing from such a destructive relationship, for a least part of the path of your recovery .

Psychic ABC's Susan Stubbings
The Game we Play - Susan Stubbings
Smart Goals - Pendulum Of Peace
You may find yourself having to deal with not only the issues named above but also such emotions as abandonment, rejection, shame, low self-worth, being silenced and not being listened to, not being heard, being minimised and invalidated, being made into a victim and having a victim mentality all affects from living and loving a Narc.  You may find you need to work through feelings of guilt if you were having an affair with a married Narc and you may need to learn how to fulfill your own needs in a healthy manner.  You may need to  learn how to use the word no and how to say no and mean it in the future and you will need to make sense of your part in the relationship what made you stay?  What are your relationship patterns which kept you there, what part did/do they play?  You may need to work on building boundaries and focus on taking control of your life and the way you live, you may need to work through co-dependency issues or addictive issues which you may be using to cope and self-medicate the reality of your life such as alcohol, drugs or eating disorders.   It may be necessary for you to work through any rescuing or fixing attitudes you may have or feelings for the Narcissist.  Empathy and compassion are not the same as sympathy.  You will almost definitely need support whilst you learn to validate , sooth and find healthy love for yourself and more issues too numerous to write here.  This will all take time and best thought of in the long term there will be no quick fixes after leaving a Narcissistic relationship.

A final note - I wish you all a lot of love and light as you embark upon your healing journey and know that you can and will heal and become all that you want to be and all that you are capable of becoming; don't give up on yourself build strength, independence and love.

Be kind and gentle with yourself as you heal and remember

YOU CAN DO THIS!


To your magnficeince mental wealth always

BE SMART

Recover your life!
Susan Stubbings Doncaster